So here's a list of things that were "off" and what I learned from it:
- a meeting needs an objective that is predefined or at least specified at the start of the meeting. I learned that if there isn't one, I need to ask the other party to define one. It's like a friend of mine just wrote: "If you don't know the question how will you know if/when you get the answer?"
- meeting for lunch is OK, but you need a place with limited noise. I learned that if I either organize or agree to a meeting in public space, I need to scout it out beforehand or be vocal about being bothered by the noise.
- when you meet for lunch, organize the questions-answers so that everyone has a chance to enjoy or at least finish their meal. Once again it was a new experience for me and I'll verbalize this the next time.
- have the courage to say "I don't think it's a good fit". Leaving with a "we might get back to you either before or after vacations or something, maybe" is just insulting. In future I will make a concluding remark myself if the other side is avoidant.
Interviewing for a position is a skill, from both sides of the table. Only way to get better is to practice. The experience I had yesterday was a good learning experience and I'll continue the journey :)